Written by Hydrogen Balloon
Print this

Monday, 21 February 2011

image for Queen Elizabeth II Orders All Protesters Shot On Sight
Mad Queen Bess Attacks!

London, England-- Queen Elizabeth has ordered military and police units to begin shooting all protesters immediately. Mad Queen Bess, as she is known in the non-British world, is very concerned about the revolutions sweeping the globe. She has held onto power since 1952, and plans to hold onto her throne until she dies. The royal family is helping her in her campaign.

"Kill, kill, kill!" chanted Queen Elizabeth with delight. The insane monarch stood on the roof of Buckingham Palace with her husband, and fired her AK-47 rifle at some unlucky tourists from America. She cackled with delight as their heads exploded.

"I just bagged some more!" she boasted. She handed the rifle to Prince Phillip, and he began firing away.

"I hate them! Bags of scum! Bloody serfs! Die, you idiots, die!" he laughed. "We should have done this years ago!" he laughed some more, as his pale cheeks turned a crimson red with excitement.

Even Camilla joined in the action. She launched a surface-to-air missile towards Victoria Station, killing hundreds of commuters.

"I don't intend to end up like Diana!" screamed Camilla. She fired another missile, this time towards Piccadilly Circus.

The two young princes also joined in the carnage. They were spotted driving towards the Parliament Building in two big SUVs, filled with grenades. The princes ran over dozens of startled pedestrians along the way.

The only royal family member missing in the action was Prince Charles. He was found hiding under his bed by a servant and shaking with fright.

"Is is over yet, is it over??" he asked with a quivering voice.

Make Hydrogen Balloon's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 plus 5?

8 4 13 9
56 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more