Now that the Royal Wedding invitations have been issued to all the relatives, VIP's, friends, hangers-on and Palmer-Tomkinsons, Prince William and Kate Middleton have issued their wedding list.
Rumour has it that the happy couple would have preferred hard cash and property, but HRH the Prince of Wales, in trying to further "be at one with his people", suggested the list should be placed on either e-bay or Debenhams.
However, following intervention from HM The Queen, a happy medium has been struck, and while the medium, Mystic Meg, is no longer very happy, because she was struck with a polo stick, the wedding list will be placed on Harrodsweddinglist.web.
Included in the wedding wish list, at the behest of the happy couple, are:
- Solid silver truffle grater
- Automatic grape de-seeder
- Australian barbecue made from two half-barrels
- Gold snail eating forks
- A subscription to "Hello" magazine
Guests and members of the public will have until the end of July (any year - the couple aren't fussy) to contribute the gift of their choice.
The Duke of Edinburgh was unavailable for comment as he was out chatting to members of the Chinese community.