Written by Charpa93
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Topics: Sex, China, Pregnancy

Sunday, 20 February 2011

image for China Gears Up For Record Pregnancies in Year of the Rabbit
This stork represents Year of the Rabbit

China is known throughout the world for having the strictest rules when it comes to population control. It's 'One-Child Policy' has been in effect since 1978 and is responsible for not only keeping China's urban population somewhat under control, but also for making Chinese citizens the most frightened of copulation.

However, that has not stopped many Chinese, especially in rural areas, from having more than one child and totally disregarding the One-Child Policy these past few years. While at present, China is still expected to reach zero population growth by the year 2030, the country's leaders fear that this year especially could wipe that goal off the charts. It should be noted that zero population growth does not mean that there will be no more Chinese in the world in 2030, just a lot fewer of them and all above the age of 50.

With this being the Chinese Year of the Rabbit, the nation's clinics are already seeing a marked increase in the number of women who are showing up for their first term pregnancy checkups. Xiou Ki Den, head doctor of the Shanghai Women's Center claims that births are already up 20% over last year. He claims that, while no one will admit it, the jump in pregnancies is directly correlated to the type of animal being honored this year, the rabbit.

"These Chinese young people breeding like rabbits," he said. "They think this funny. They humpy-hump everywhere," he said as he put his fists at a 45-degree angle at his sides and moved his pelvis in a forward and backward motion.

The government agrees and has enacted an emergency condom distribution plan that they hope will encourage citizens of reproductive age to act in a more responsible way while enjoying their celebration of one of the most popular and [re]productive years yet expected in China.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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