PALESTINE - In an ironic twist of events, a no-strings-attatched peace deal struck with Israel this weekend has left 90% of Palestinian families without a father. After a strong exchange of views during peace negotiations this morning, leaders on both sides agreed to end hostilities, armed incursions into each other's territories, and to focus on the needs of their own people.
The Israeli state declared a week long holiday to mark the historic acheivement, and encouraged fathers to return home to their partners and children for quality family time. Israeli soldiers welcomed the news, commenting that the strict moral code within the army meant that the average Israeli soldier hadn't been blown for almost two and a half years.
However, things took a rather decidedly darker turn in Palestine when Palestine announced a celebration rally to include "every suicide bomber (and wannabe) in the region". The rally turnout far exceeded all expectations and celebrations continued through the day. The celebrations ended in style with every suicide bomber massing into the middle of the desert and detonating their vests at the same time. Israel praised the skill of the martyrs commenting that their timing and syncronisation was "second to none".
Although things now look grim for the Palestinians, it's not all bad. Finally they are able to fit within the space designated to them by Israel. " before, things were so crowded. Now I am able to feed my cattle properly" a happy woman announced.
The Palestinians have applied to the UN for extra cash, arguing financial hardship as a result of their unique military assets.