Written by Inhopeless
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Wednesday, 16 February 2011

image for Future News: America Quarantined
Many In New York City Have Yet to See This

(Published 2030) - BIRMINGHAM, ENG. - At this year's United Nations Conference on Climate Change in Birmingham, many of the member nations and transnationals have decided to quarantine all 8,080,464.3 sq. km of the 48 contingent states.

"America has seen rising pollution rates," said UN Sec-Gen Ban-Ki Moon. "It has failed to implement climate change agendas for the past 150 years. While the rest of the world cut down on CO2 and methane and energy usage to tackle climate change, Americans were arguing whether it was real or not. For their ignorance, America's air pollutant content is twice that of Beijing's in 2011."

The citizens of the 48 states cannot travel outside of the quarantine zone, and no-one can get in. All international flights to major hubs have been re-routed to airports in Canada or cancelled.

The quarantine boundary will take effect tomorrow, and will use hi-tech shielding to let fresh air into America, but not let any of the air in America out, so that the rest of the planet doesn't get screwed.

The idea was chosen over several others, which includes cutting off electricity to America and blasting the area onto the newly-terraformed Earth-Moon.

We were not able to reach any higher ranking Americans, mostly because their IQ scores are way too low for them to actually operate computers.

Nearly 250 thousand Google Cleaner robots have been deployed to help clean up America.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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