Written by Inhopeless
Print this
Topics: Valentine's day

Saturday, 12 February 2011

EARTH - As people across the globe attempt to spend time with their loved ones, most are turning to the roots of St. Valentine.

Valentine, which is derived from Valentinus, and means worthy man, so if you think you have a hell of a guy, he's a literal Valentine.

Many people are going to go to America, Saudi or other countries where the death penalty exists, to watch the stoning of a person.

"Oh yes," said Ben Ali, "We gettings many of the calls from the people wanting to spend the Valentine's watching us throw the stones at the dissenters. Is good! You pay US$200 to watch, we give you meal and prayer, and there, you the sacred lovers. Good, huh?"

Certain other people are going to watch a beheading or, more commonly, an electrocution on the day.

"We have 200 of them criminals," said Frank Puller, "And we's a gonna give the chair! A whole visual feast for y'all love couples!"

Card sales are down, as are traditional gifts, such as flowers and chocolates, as the old-style traditions are being favoured. Even for the day, the European Union has allowed all member states to reintroduce hanging, beheading and stoning in time for the celebration.

As of press time... I would go but...

Make Inhopeless's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 plus 4?

9 8 14 23
131 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more