Written by Inhopeless
Print this
Topics: Catholic

Friday, 11 February 2011

LONDON - Another catholic priest has been... oh c'mon! Really? Don't these guys get the message?

Anyway, another catholic priest, the sick loser, has yet again did the nasty with a kid, again. You know the drill. You want unbiased? Just go to some other news site. You know this story a million times over - do you really want to read it AGAIN? Oh, well. I have to write something.

Anyway, the priest was found out using some shit or other, maybe some Sun reporter, really, I don't care. Just bang the bugger up. The guy was obiviously inviting... hey, hang on. Won't the kid have read the news? Surely if some priest asks you to spend some 'alone' time with him, surely... whatever.

Oh, I'll give you three guesses as to which denomination of Christianity he belongs to. It's actually rather chilling. Didn't people make jokes about priests being peadofiles before priests were found out doing it? A bit of a self-fufilling joke. Hopefully the one I made up about a pretty girl walking off with... yeah, that's a little too much to hope for, but anyway he said this:

"I'm terribly sorry," he said, sinfully, "I have acted against God, and have degraded a youth..." etc., etc.

I'm not saying that this isn't an important thing, but surely, you should be focusing on Egypt or the recession? Can't you divert your rage to Mubarak or the bankers? Honestly. When I get my psychology degree, I'll write some stuff about how loseriffic the public news interest is.

Back to the 'terrible' story. We asked a member of the public what she thought.

"Oh yeah," she said, "shocking, blah, blah, blah. I'm sure this'll never happen again." Keep believing that sunshine.

Well, that's all really. I can't give a damn about this story. Go read about something important.

As of press time... I got bored. That is more important.

Make Inhopeless's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 plus 3?

3 4 15 21
34 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more