Written by Charpa93
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Friday, 11 February 2011

image for Angry Egyptians Use Vuvuzelas to Roust Mubarak from Power

Update 2/12/11: Threats of use of vuvuzelas have forced Mubarak to finally step down and hand power over to the Egyptian army. Proving once again the power of the vuvuzela.

Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak pulled a fast one on the citizens of Egypt Thursday when, after waiting for hours for Mubarak to tell his countrymen that he would be leaving office, instead defiantly told everyone that he was staying. Talk about pulling the proverbial flying carpet out from under them.

Still, the crowd in Tahrir Square claims they have a secret weapon that will, once and for all, roust the stubborn President from his perch--vuvuzelas. Thousands of vuvuzelas are being shipped to Egypt from South Africa and should be arriving within hours.

Egyptians are praising their neighbors to the south for coming to the rescue in what has been one of the hardest-fought battles for democracy in recent memory. "We have asked Mubarak to leave, and he says no. We have told Mubarak to leave and again he has said no. Our shouting has fallen on deaf ears," said one angry protester who organized the vuvuzela protest. "Now we shall drive him mad with the horn of plenty," he said as he stood atop a burned out vehicle and blew his vuvuzela into the morning air.

Many predict that the unified sound of vuvuzelas will be the weapon that eventually gets Mubarak to leave office. "He hates the sound of those horns," said a spokesperson close to Mubarak. "He left the World Cup games early because he could not stand the noise any longer."

Many say that Mubarak suffers from auditory sensitivity due to his Romanian ancestry. While he is primarily Egyptian, Mubarak gets his Romanian blood from a great, great grandfather. His spokesperson claims that the shouting of the protesters already gets on his nerves. Word then spread that the vuvuzela is Mubarak's Achilles heel, so things are expected to take a nasty turn in the next day or so.

Said one protester, "We want Mubarak gone toot sweet, so I wouldn't be surprised if tomorrow you hear a muted vuvuzela tooting sweetly from the bum of that bum of a President.

Meanwhile, even though the White House has been taking a wait-and-see attitude, it has been unofficially reported that some of the cost of the vuvuzelas was picked up by an undisclosed source in American dollars.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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