Written by Reddon
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Topics: Egypt, Hosni Mubarak

Thursday, 10 February 2011

image for Portaloo operator in Cairo's Tahrir Square makes first million
Next plane to Dubai please mate!

Tahrir Square - Cairo. As thousands upon thousands of Egyptian citizens thronged the square of freedom, eagerly anticipating the step-down of President Hosni Mubarak, one man, Hassim Ben Ali, was packing up and heading for home for a celebration dinner of fried camel toes with his family.

For Hassim, this is akin to winning the lottery. The visionary Egyptian entrepreneur, took advantage of the bid to overthrow the government, by hiring ten portaloos, and setting them up in Tahrir Square.

Hassim today confirmed that over the previous couple of weeks he has literally cleaned up with his chemical toilet operation, and is now comfortably set up for life.

Hassim told the press corps:

"When you get hundred of thousand of peoples in confined space, going to the toilet without making rude exhibition of self is nearly impossible. People need to be urinating and laying the whiffy brown eggs. I see this, so I hire chemical toilets from firm in Alexandria and set up in square. At first I am charging one dollar (US) to toilet user, but when things get hectic, I see business opportunity and introduce sliding chart scale. Is now two dollar for number one, five dollar for number two, and twenty five dollar for client who wants to read newspaper and smoke cigarette for half an hour. Now, I millionaire in Egypt pounds, US dollar, GB pound, and Egypt pound. I make enough to retire now, and I only twenty seven. I go home now, wash away stink of shit and have dinner with family. Tomorrow I get first available flight to Dubai."

Takeaway outlets based around Tahrir Square also reported thriving business, but the bars in tourist hotels were strangely deserted.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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