Indian Ocean - (Crude Stuff): They're being compared to Queen Elizabeth I's arson galleons that sunk the Armada and singed the King of Spain's pathetic little beard.
The decoy craft will be packed with explosives and will detonate in the event of a pirate attack.
This week's top secret Pentagon deal will see oil companies utilise International Space Station tracking technology to guide these decoys to the ambush-rich waters of the Indian Ocean.
Onboard wi-fi sensors will then take over the detonation of ordnance following confirmation of a vessel's capture.
"We're going to teach those filthy scumbags a lesson in gunboat diplomacy," a crude industry insider said today.
"Should see off the filthy vermin pretty damned quick!"