Written by Rabbi Rasputin
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Topics: Shark, Hosni Mubarak

Wednesday, 9 February 2011

After repeated attempts by the Israeli spy agency to assassinate Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak using highly trained creatures ranging from infected lice to specially-trained birds of prey laden with tiny explosive packets, they have finally succeeded a few hours ago at the seadide resort of Sharm el Sheikh (it was never true that the Israeli Government saw the value of a "stable" Mubarak regime.

For years, they have longer for Egyptian mobs to seize power and look to the Muslim Brotherhood or a Viennese ex-pat for leadership).

A Mossad-trained shark has consumed Mubarak, leaving millions of protesters at Tahrir Square in Cairo to contemplate their next move.

Rumours are that a giant monument to sharks will be built at the square, Mubarak's $40 billion-plus will be distributed amongst Egypt's unemployed, and Mohammed e-Baradei propositioned for the office of President.

E-Baradei has not responded to this correspondent's request for an interview, as he is believed to be working on the memoirs of his life.

One chapter, it is rumoured, will be titled "how I spent 20 years avoiding Simon Wiesenthal in Vienna".

On a final note, a childhood friend of Mubarak's states that the future President confided in his youth his fear that, one day, a Zionist shark would consume him.

Let the reader understand that that was a common fear amongst Egyptian kids during the late 1930's.

A lot of people would get dizzy looking at a $40 billion plunder, and so has this correspondent.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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