Written by K.C. Bell
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Topics: Egypt, Woody Allen

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

image for Mubarak To Star In Next Woody Allen Romantic Comedy
I'm ready for my close up.

Former President Hosni Mubarak is expected to star in the next Woody Allen romantic comedy which will be filmed in Cairo, Egypt. Currently in the center of news and a revolution, Allen feels Egypt would make an excellent location for his film.

Attempting to remain current, Sarah Palin tried to locate Egypt on a map before criticizing Obama's handling of the crisis. "Egypt is in Africa?" and recited her knowledge of geography, "Canada borders Alaska, Russia I can see and Mexico is downstairs. At least I have those three places nailed down,"

Mr. Allen plans to cast Scarlett Johanson (Snore...) and Thelma Hayek (Buenos Dias!) as sisters, with Diane Keaton performing as their mother. Currently in a state of denial, Ms. Keaton rejected the role, saying, "I'm Annie Hall, for heaven sakes. I'm too young."

The role was then offered to Joan Rivers who immediately snapped it up. "Melissa is about to bounce me out of her brand new home just because I sold her old house when she went out to pick up pizza. All I did was move her family and entourage into San Simeon. So there's a mortgage."

This time, the older and wiser romantic lead dispensing rare books, (to hopefully raise the IQ of both sisters) will be performed by 82 year old President Hosni Mubarak.

"It's not like I need the cash. (Remember the three steamer trunks?) But the charisma this role will generate is priceless." Vice President Omar Suleiman will perform as Mr. Mubarak's snappy side-kick, good guy and romantic competition.

The Snore..., and Buenos Dias! had other ideas. "Well, like we're actresses, sure, but those two are a little over the top."

How Mr. Allen approached Mr. Mubarak and Mr. Suleiman, convincing them to work in his film is worthy of another film. (Noir not comedy.)

Seeing all the cameras, the police were fast to move. Told it was a Woody Allen film, they immediately worked on their collective unibrows and asked to be paid members of the cast.

"You mean South America is a continent and not a country like South Africa?"

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