CAIRO & THE AFTERLIFE - Mubarak, failing leader of Egypt has come under praise from the gods.
The gods, who have sent down a memo, have stated that 'Mubarak is an extension of our traditions' and is 'welcome for a place in the afterlife'.
The gods have said that the oppression of the masses and the terrible backlash against the man has made the ancient Pharaohs work seem like a four-year-old's.
"Oh yeah," said one, "Just when he was gonna become all democratic and shit, we were gonna smite him, but nah! He turned back to us and shit."
However, the Abrahamic God (God, Allah, Yahweh), has told the Egyptian Gods to 'piss off'.
"Plagues, wars, stuff like that, that;s them lot," she said, "I may be all powerful and stuff, but there's a billion of them too. Even if I get the Roman and Greek Gods on my side, the Hindu Gods just join over there. And trust me, the Hindus have more gods than we've created universes."
As of press time, Team Diev (God, Roman and Greek Gods) was having a terraform battle with Team Papyrus. Winner gets Mubarak's soul. Loser gets Nick Clegg's.