Written by Kid Icarus
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Topics: Catholic, The Pope

Saturday, 5 February 2011

image for Pope Benedict XVI is crying because he never had a woman
The laws don't allow the Pope to touch a woman like this.

ITALIAN LOONY FARM - Pope Benedict XVI said he is sad because he never married and he never had sex with a woman.

Benedict says people in Italy are laughing at him because they had sex with dozens of beautiful people in their youth and they enjoyed dreams and pleasures that he has never experienced.

Pope Benedict XVI started crying during the interview and complained that he has never seen the naked body of a beautiful woman and has longed to know what it feels like to touch a woman's breast. His tears were running down his face and onto his Catholic robes.

Benedict says the Catholic Church ruined his life and he is unable to set back time to begin his life again. Since he was a child the church brainwashed him into believing that living under church theology was the correct form of life, but now he has discovered that the church was misguided and they ruined the lives of millions of worshipers. It's going to take millions of years before the human mind evolves to the point where such mistakes can be avoided. Human beings are simply primitive chimpanzees unaware of their failures.

"I became jealous, I was devastated, and I cried for days when I found out that the love of my life, Ruby Rubacuori, was getting married because I had so many dreams of Ruby and me getting married." said Pope Benedict XVI.

It's the "never-married penalty," suggest University of California researchers Robert M. Kaplan, Ph.D., and Richard G. Kronick, Ph.D., in the August issue of the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health.

Kaplan and Kronick extracted data from two sources: a 1989 national health interview survey, and the 1997 U.S. national death index. They had sufficient data to analyze information on more than 80,000 people.

Their main findings are that never married men are at a greater risk of depression and anxiety than men who are happily married and enjoying the bodies of their wives. For men the never-married penalty is stronger early in life when they are filled with an abundance of sex hormones and they have stronger bodies and are more capable of engaging in enjoyable sex with women.

The researchers found that never-married people, are 38 percent more likely to die of heart disease than their married peers. They also feel lonely and are more susceptible of suicide.

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