Forbidden City - (Fortune Cookie): She's earned the mighty Jade Emperor's wrath with decades of humbug portraying a continuous near 60-year reign.
That fiction is now exhausted as the combined farces of the Sun, Moon, Mars, Neptune and Mercury align for Thursday's New Year of the Mental Rabbit.
Queen Elizabeth Bunny Boiler - as Taoist legend proclaims - has been keeping herself out of the headlines with a winter sojourn of squatting the royal residence Sandringham House.
A pandemic of Palace mortgage frauds on UK properties has been kept largely hidden, thanks mostly to the Hellfire Club.
Its client dictators such as Hosni Mubarak - and every British Prime Monster since Harold Wilson - have continued the deception following handsome personal rake-offs amounting to $$$ billions.
"Of course there'll be hell to pay for if HM croaks it on Thursday," worried Palace soothsayers said today.
Charles and Camilla's panic room button 'may have been hacked into' by News of the Screws journos on a Northern Rock Bank retainer.