The king of Jordan, upset over all the attention Egypt is getting while its citizens call for reform, has dismissed his entire government Tuesday and appointed a new Czar and Prime Minister with orders to implement political reform.
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Mitch McConnell: The senior Senator from Kentucky, and the man who said "the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.
Treacle Sponge: Just kidding, we wouldn't eat that sh-t. Let the '1 thumbs-up - ok.' ratings begin.
The dismissal follows 3 protest letters --and a call to a sports radio show-- calling for change in Jordan.
"Hi, Mike and Mike. First time caller, long-time listener," said the caller to ESPN Radio, identified as Aamirah Abdul-Ghafaar of Massapequa, Long Island. " I can't believe Cashman wants to put Jeter in the outfield! Also, King Abdullah II of Jordan should be deposed."
"When I heard that caller, I knew that the Kingdom of Jordan has to do something, and do something quick," said The King, who ascended the throne in 1999 after the death of his father Sadaam Hussein. "And let me tell everyone that I couldn't agree more: Derek Jeter should be the Yankees shortstop until he retires, and this is the same bullsh-t Cashman pulled when they moved Bernie Williams to left field."
"Wait, you can do that? You can just... just fire the entire government? F--k, yeah!" said President Barack Obama, momentarily forgetting, apparently, that he is not King of America, Obamacare notwithstanding. "Get Mitch McConnell on the phone and tell him he can suck my..."
The Jordanian government in recent weeks announced several measures aimed at easing citizens' economic hardships, including reducing taxes on oil, and instituting a pay raise of 20 Jordanian dinars a month (13.5¢ in real, American dollars) for civil servants and military personnel, effectively tripling their income. But tens of protesters today said the measures do not go far enough.
The King called the new Prime Minister to issue his first Royal declaration on Tuesday morning.
"Get me a weapon, 2 sacks of money and the fastest chartered plane at our disposal," said the King. "I'll send you a postcard from Anarctica."