Written by Asheville Jack
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Monday, 31 January 2011

image for Egyptians Take out Anger On Priceless Mummies - Mummies Thunderstruck
"I can't read minds. How was I to know the people were unhappy," said Pesident Mubarak?

Citizens continue to protest today in the streets of major Egyptian cities against the rule of President Mubarak's thirty year regime. In a Saturday press release Mubarak played his thirty years as ruler of Egypt against the background of the country's four thousand year history.

"You know," said Mubarak, "I can't read peoples minds for crying out loud. If Egyptians were really serious about this democracy thing, one would have thought they might have spoken up earlier, like a thousand years ago. I mean this country has been around four thousands year. I don't understand why they chose this time to pick on me. How am I more despotic than, say, the Pharaohs?"

Several protestors, taking note of Mubarak's point and in a sure sign of pent up multi-generational anger and tormented by thousands of years of unresolved collective angst, broke into the world renowned Museum of Antiquities in Cairo and attacked several mummies on display, breaking off their mummy heads. The famous museum built in 1902 houses the world's largest collection of ancient Egyptian artifacts and mummies with more than 120,000 items on display.

One protestor arrested for mutilating one of the priceless mummies stated he did it to extract revenge in the name of his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great- -great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather, who surely were abused at the hands of the King Tutankhamun thirty-three hundred years ago.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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