Written by Neil Levine
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Topics: Media

Thursday, 25 August 2005

image for Going International, Puff Daddy No More
Selling Internationally Big Time

Sean John HQ, MTVLand and Cable Media Ether-Seeking new worlds to conquer, rapper, empressario, businessman and, now, MTV Host on Fox Sean Puff Daddy Combs is looking into ways to expand his empire.


Taking a cue from one of the greatest comics of the seventies, Ar Jay also known as Ray Jay or Jay Ray and Jay Jay or J J slash J Ray Johnson who particularly wanted to be called Johnson just so long as nobody got confused, Big Daddy Combs has decided to revise his name. To Diddy, Daddyo.


Cool as Coolio would say.


While entertaining for a bit, the aforementioned Johnson's career was just a blip in media history. But Sean John Combs appears to have much more staying power. Just the way he has improved on the name change from Puff Daddy to Puffy to Daddy (to a lot of kids) to P Diddy and now just plain Diddy he has gone Ar Jay and, by extension, Augie Doggie and Doggie Daddy, not to mention Doogie Howser, Bo Diddely and Howdy Doody one better.


Just so long as no one calls him Puppy, right? Also don't want to find out if Ja Rule is packing heat! Or anyone else for that matter!


But what is he getting from all this media attention?


Well, he can now say he is big enough to be international. So you're going to see Sean John in the strangest places: big women's butts and skinny women's tops and dark closets from here to Timbuktu, not to mention the North Pole, the South Pole, the MTV Video Awards and points in between, including the Black Hole of Calcutta and some of the nicest British jails and gaols you would never want to be seen in. Going Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt two better.


Then there is his music. No need to show Pity to Diddy cause he's still rapping with the Stars. His Hosting of the MTV Music Awards Show proves that. And such stars! Hillary Duff, Jessica Simpson, Mariah Carey and they're only the encore.

So after the awards, what left for him to do?


Well, right now, there are movies, another truly international business. He's acting, composing, directing, producing and even playing himself, which seems hard to believe. But who else could do that? I mean, like, man, there is only one Diddy.


Pity.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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