Written by ronin47empire
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Topics: America, India, Pakistan

Sunday, 30 January 2011

image for US Ambassador to India Denies Hating US Ambassador to Pakistan
President Obama and Secretary Clinton allegedly spend a considerable amount of time telling Roemer and Munter to CTFD

In a bizarre twist to the decades-long Indo-Pak diplomatic debacle, Former Bank official AVX Shenoy(myself) has exposed a rift between the US representative to India and and the US representative to Pakistan. Tim Roemer and Cameron Munter have reportedly not been on speaking terms since before well before the 26/11 attacks.

Munter is reported to have passed some snide remark about how Tim Roemer had a great sense of humor in '65 and Roemer furious at being called suave and funny launched a blistering tirade in 1971 about how Munter was almost overqualified for every job he was given even when he (Munter) was only 17. Unaware of these simmering tensions a then, hopeful Obama, with a fetish for change, assigned Roemer as Indian ambassador in 2009 and Munter as US Viceroy to Pakistan last year.

A Wodeshousian misunderstanding had by then turned into a rather violent dislike for each other escalating to the level of middle school rhyming. Roemer has reportedly contacted several Indian linguists to see if "Cameron" or "Munter" mean "dipshit" in any of the Indian languages and has reportedly made up a jingle reversing the first two syllables to read "Mameron Cunter" which is almost a profanity in English.

Munter has in the recent past, allegedly, had his staff from the US embassy in Pakistan infiltrate the US embassy in India. Several secretaries from the Pakistani American embassy side have thus gained access to Roemer's documents and committed grave acts such as running spell check with "UK English", refusing to recycle, actively stopping local Indian embassy secretaries from recycling, and insisting that the US embassy in Pakistan is just a cooler place by saying "'coz it is" with no facts to back it up.

Roemer has reportedly sent a detailed dossier to Munter and has had several secretaries sent back to the US. In one letter Roemer allegedly threatens, "Listen, Cameron, please, please stop this. I beg of you." Sources now report that a significant portion of President Obama and Secretary Clinton's time in December was spent trying to calm tensions from escalating to a full-fledged battle rap. "No one wants to see two middle-aged white men rap. I mean, that's really not in line with American interests."

President Obama has reportedly sought assistance of US Ambassador to China Jon Huntsman Jr. to calm Roemer and Munter down. The Ambassador to India is reportedly wary of Huntsman due to the fact that Munter and Huntsman are BFFs, and due to what happened in '61. It is believed that when Roemer was 5 and Huntsman was 1, he (Huntsman) had kneed a then-surprisingly-short-for-his-age Roemer in the groin. "Yeah, that punk Roemer is not going to be rhyming with Huntsman's name. Even though "Cuntsman" is an easy cheapshot, Roemer remembers what a good knee from a tall 1 year old can do," said a senior attaché in the US Embassy to China on condition of anonymity.

Most recently it is rumoured, that Roemer, was gloating and smirking about a US consolate member in Pakistan shooting some locals. "They're like that only, the embassy people in Pakistan," Roemer is alleged to have said.

When asked to respond to this allegation solely as a question on an esoteric blog the US Ambassador to India failed to respond.

Thus, forcing us to believe that this is, in fact, true.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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