Written by j.w.
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Topics: Egypt

Saturday, 29 January 2011

image for Who is Behind the Egyptian Uprising?
Is There a West Ham Supporter Planning These Revolting Episodes?

A fresh headache for International Rescue is the spread of riots in Egypt and other areas of the Middle East.

Speaking from his headquarters at an unknown place somewhere in this world, it is thought, former Army Major General Battersea-Smythe (known to his friend as Battersmith) warned that the codeine tablets he has been taking are beginning to lose their effect. 'I've had to swallow so much recently I've become dependent on these drugs to stay awake. I have to keep up with all the conflagrations around the world. Now my Twitter, Facebook, emails and voice box have failed or been hacked.'

So International Rescue is a bit of a right off and needs rescuing itself. But Superintendent Wendy Knight is ready to step up and defend civilisation. As a woman, of course, we cannot bring the image of Spoof into danger by swearing about our Wendy. She has that feminine gift of intuition, helpful in planning when everything else has failed.

'I have decided' Wendy purred in my ear 'to track down the master mind behind all these uprisings. I feel it is someone lurking in an English bedroom with a secret code to prime his or even her sleepers into action. Obviously they are now primed and we are currently examining CCTV footage of suspicious movements on the outskirts of Ashby de la Zouche. The very name of the town raises suspicion.'

A knock on a Zouche Door is expected at any moment and you can be sure that readers of Spoof will be first to know.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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