BRITISH PRIME MINISTER - Tony Blair has been given Hawaii as a gift by George Bush for his continuing support for the war in Iraq and international terrorism.
Apparently Mr. Blair had dropped hints at their last meeting that he was sick of going to Benidorm on the Spanish Costas with his mum and dad and sister Susan.
He had complained about always going in the same hotel, The Mirimar and having to go every night to the Eastenders Bar. George took pity and said "Leave it with me Tony, I'll sort you something out !"
The present was revealed to Blair by fax and he immediately rang Lunn Poly to book a couple of flights so he could take his missus out there to see his latest acquisition. He landed in Honolulu at 4:15 BST this morning with wife Cherie seen dragging the Louis Vuitton luggage across the airport concourse.
He had pre-booked a Hertz rental car which he collected at the airport foyer, loaded in his cases and duty free and sped off up the interstate at great pace. Mrs Blair was not too pleased as she was left standing at the airport with her vanity case still in her hand.
This may tie in with the rumour that George Bush is joining Tony at a secret location on the islands and he is bringing a party of female interns for what Dick Cheney described as "The icing on the cake - nod, nod, wink, wink !"
This mirrors six years ago when Tony and Bill Clinton did a 18 - 30 Holiday to Magaluf and the famous pictures appeared in the World Press of the two mooning at 3:30 in the morning outside the BCM nightclub. Bill was later caught on camera laying pavement pizzas after eating two Big Macs in less than a minute, Tony loosing 20 Euro's in a bet. Later in the week Tony pulled a lap dancer whilst Bill went back to their room only to find he had been locked out and spent the night bunked up on a bench.
Eastenders Bar owner Tommy Diggle said that he vaguely remembers Tony but could not be certain as he had owned the bar since 1994 and he only has Channel 5 and UK TV Gold on his entertainment system.