Written by Morse
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Sunday, 23 January 2011

image for Obama Continues to Lose Weight; Experts Say He Could be Being Consumed with Intestinal Parasites And Blame Spam Sandwiches!
Helminthologists Theorize Parasites Entered Here During Walks to the Mud Hole in Kenya!

Obama watchers have grown increasingly concerned as the 50 year old President appears to be wasting away before their eyes ever since his recent Hawaii get away and his binge eating away from the Secret Food Police hired by Moochelle to strictly enforce her draconian diet mandates!

Recently seen exiting Marine I, the Messiah's personal helicopter, Obama not only appeared to have sprouted a few more kinky grey curls, but his expensive Armani overcoat, which fit him perfectly at the inauguration, now hung limply on his sparse frame as he staggered toward the sanctuary of the White House.

Helminthologists are now theorizing that the President is suffering from internal parasites that could be sucking the very life out of him!

Several theories are now being discussed behind closed doors at the UN's Center of Disease Control concerning what could be the cause of the President's startling weight loss.

One idea being posited is that the President has a severe case of Trichinosis, a round worm that invades the body due to eating improperly prepared pork products. Several reports have surfaced that despite Muslim edicts, Obama has an addiction to all kinds of Spam prepared in a variety of ways, and he may have picked the parasite up during his recent Hawaii vacation where the national dish revolves around the vacuumed sealed meat treat.

The common perception is that Obama snuck off to the foothills to indulge himself out of the watchful eye of his Food Nazi wife, Michelle, and wound up eating some underdone Spam Sandwiches prepared at road side stands.

Another theory seems to support birthers contentions that Obama was indeed born in Kenya, a country prone to having it's population infected by Tapeworms, Roundworms & Hookworms as most of the population walks around bare footed on infected soil.

Experts say the parasitic eggs could have lain dormant for decades in their human hosts, only becoming active after a series of traumatic events, such as losing the mid term elections, caused excessive stress causing the eggs to hatch and begin feeding on the intestinal tract.

Behind the scenes efforts to bulk the President up are underway as his re election team is worried that he'll be down to 85 pounds looking worse than an anorexic gay jeans model employed by Calvin Kline as 2012 rolls around.

Seen just yesterday it appears that Obama has had his hair sprayed dark black again shortly after he visited a MAACO auto body franchise in DC to promote jobs. Manager of the shop, Leroy "Big Daddy" Johnson seemed to be bursting with pride over the visit saying, "See....lookin' good baby...no runs, no drips, no errors....!"

Christie Alley, commenting after viewing the latest pictures of the skeletal Obama declared, "I don't know what kind of worm he's got, but I wonder if he could spare a few for me!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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