Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 22 January 2011

image for Osama Bin Laden Threatens France: "I Will Steal The Eiffel Tower!"
A photo of Osama Bin Laden that was taken when he visited Chicago's Wrigley Field in 2002.

KARACHI, Pakistan - Osama Bin Laden speaking at radio station WPAK in Karachi has issued a stern warning to French President Nicolas Sarkozy and his wife Carla Bruni-Sarkozy.

The 6 foot 6 inch tall Bin Laden stated that he is sick and tired of getting stale French bread at Karachi grocery stores and then trying to exchange it only to be told that French Bread is on the list of products that are not returnable, exchangeable, or refundable.

Bin Laden also mentioned that last week as he was having a cheeseburger at Camel Charlie's Burgers and Things To Go he bit into a French fry that had a fish bone in it.

He complained to the manager who told him that the French fry did not have a fish bone when it was first served to Bin Laden's table. Osama did not like the answer and he made a phone call to Sim Sak Fayenshi, a professional hit man in Karachi.

Fayenshi told Bin Laden that he was one of the biggest terrorists in the country and wondered why he wouldn't just off the manager himself.

Bin Laden told him that he was trying to keep a low profile and besides he has been in hiding since May 7, 2007.

France's National Qui Qui which is the equivalent to America's National Enquirer stated that they had received an email from Osama Bin Laden'a email address at osamabinladen13@hothead.nut which stated that his intentions are to steal the Eiffel Tower, take it to Pakistan, and to sell it to the city of Karachi to use as a low-rent housing for the poor.

In non-related news. The View's Whoopi Goldberg said that she found a purse containing some money in the elevator located at her apartment complex. She counted the money and it came out to $79,883. Goldberg said that the owner can claim it by emailing her at whoopidreadlocks.web.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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