Written by French Marilyn
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Tuesday, 18 January 2011

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Saint Berlusconi - Patron Saint of Young Girls

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has told Pope Benedict that he expects to be beatified on his death.

The Italian Lothario, who will turn 75 in September, believes that he merits beatification because of how happy he has made, and still is making, young girls.

He has told an aide: "I am sharing the generous endowment the good Lord has bestowed on me - my libido - with our Italian girls. What did Pope John-Paul II do to be beatified? He made one old nun happy. I have made scores of young girls very happy. So who's the saint? Me or Karol Wojtyla? And I'm Italian to boot whereas he was a foreigner."

He also told Pope Benedict that, once beatified, he should be made the patron saint of young girls.

When told by the pope that there already was a patron saint of young girls - Saint Agnes - he had replied: "Saint Agnes? What's she ever done but wipe the snotty noses of poor street kids? But I? Only I know how to make a young girl happy. Not only do I share my God-given endowment with them, I also put them up in rent-free luxury apartments. And I invite them to my parties. So who's the saint?"

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