New York, NY - Researchers at the Belleview Space-Cadet Academy have made an amazing discovery about human nature. Sex can cure most forms of mental illness. Doctors and psychiatrists are now being advised to prescribe large doses of sexual activity to their neurotic--and even psychotic--patients.
The surprising discovery comes after years of research on thousands of neurotic New York men, from all walks of life. Sex was found to be much more beneficial than either drugs, group therapy or electro-shock therapy. The best results happened when the patient began a long-term relationship, but even casual hook-ups were found to be very helpful.
"Just do it." is the simple advice of Dr. Harry Mann of the Belleview Space Cadet Academy. Dr. Mann was happy to give a few comments to the press about the study.
"We found sex cures anxiety, depression, anger, loneliness and even stuttering!" boasted Dr. Mann. "Sex is really a very healthy thing, there should be much more of it."
Researchers believe if everyone had a good sex life, the world would be a much happier place to live in.
"All that anger you see nowadays would disappear. No more road rage or crazy shootings. It would be a much better world." said Dr. Mann.
When Dr. Mann was asked why the study was only done on sexually unsatisfied men, he had an easy answer:
"There aren't any sexually unsatisfied women."