Written by PP Rega
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Sunday, 16 January 2011

image for Miss America Losers Are Pregnant & Guess Who the Father Is?
A future Miss America?

In an apparent fit of pique, the losing contestants of the 2011 Miss America contest convened a hastily organized press conference and declared that they were not virgins and that the Miss America contest was a sham of innocence and purity. When members of the news media countered that virginity and Miss America went out with Bert Parks, Miss Montana interrupted, saying that she was also currently pregnant.

That statement created only mild hub-bub of interest until, one by one, 34 of the contestants stood up and also declared their gravid states. Those announcements collectively created a mild furor among the journalists and the nontraditional media. However, it wasn't until Miss Alabama offhandedly mentioned that the father of all of these soon-to-be neonates was none other than Silvio Berlusconi, Prime Minister of Italy, that the resultant clamor reached volcanic proportions.

In Italy, the news was picked up by The Left who believes this should be another nail in Berlusconi's political coffin and will force him out of office. However, in Parliament, when the alleged Berlusconi-Miss America scandal was presented, a special proclamation was passed. It began with the words, "Bravo, Berlusconiā€¦.."

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