After years of vicious fighting, Sudan is to split in two. The two constituent parts, Su and Dan have decided they cannot get on and must divorce for their own sanity.
Su is a radical Muslim woman who insists on beheading anyone who disobeys the (alleged) words of Allah.
Dan is an animist Christian, who believes in hamster Jesus among other odd deities.
The two have lived happily together for 54 years after the British empire forced them together. Despite a spicy start which involved 15 years of fighting, they eventually settled down together and appeared to be almost happy - or as happy as any African nation can be.
But now Dan is protesting, and is hoping for a quick divorce. He is guaranteed custody of the oil well they own together, which will help him pay for his future.
Su is sure to inherit Darfur, the argumentative pet monkey they both adopted. She is also said to be upset at being deserted.