As zodiac signs change and shift, Geminis are literally going mental over the new astrology. The coming of Ophiuchus has provoked a worldwide psychological crisis for double personality, bi-sexual, bipolar, bifocal, bi-cultural, bicycle riding Geminis, who find themselves splitting into multiple personality, many-eyed, four-wheeled, multi-sexual, gay-straight-lesbian people.
As Gemini is the zodiac sign for ying and yang geological-psychologists fear this change will lead to a "ying-jang-jongy" destabilization of man and nature, which could already be causing the erratic movement of the magnetic poles.
Clearly, if no solution is found for the Gemini/Jing and Jang dilemma then mathematics and science, as we know it, will have to be totally rewritten as opposites will no longer exist. Zoologists fear for the future of kangaroos, sociologists expect marriage to disappear and anthropologists predict that man will walk on all-fours again. We advice you to get to the supermarkets quickly before semi-skimmed milk runs out!