BAGHDAD-In a surprising and unexpected turn of events, an Iraqi Court has freed Saddam Hussein and indicted United States President George W. Bush as an international war criminal.
"We had to look at what has actually taken place in history," said a spokesman for the Supreme Court of Iraq. "US President Bush simply bombed the heck out of this country and killed over 100,000 Iraqi people in an illegal and immoral war under completely false pretenses."
He added that Bush's military nazis have tortured and murdered hundreds of innocent Iraqi people in American army prisons. Bush did all this in order to acquire the oil wealth of Iraq for his Republican-linked oil companies, and to give hundreds of millions of dollars in reconstruction and other contracts to Republican-linked companies like Halliburton. Billions of dollars surrounding these endeavors have gone missing in a series of massive corruption scandals.
"Bush lied about Iraq's non-existent weapons of mass destruction, he lied about Iraq's non-existent links to ‘terrorism,' he lied to the American people, and he really should be impeached and tried in an international criminal court," added the spokesman.
Saddam was promptly freed from prison to the acclaim of thousands of cheering Iraqi citizens in downtown Baghdad.
Climbing onto a Hummer outside his former prison, Saddam raised his hands and thanked the court and the Iraqi people, saying that he was going to take a well-earned vacation "somewhere in the Caribbean maybe, perhaps the Florida Keys."
He said that he'd always wanted to go deep sea fishing in that area just like Ernest Hemingway, a writer that he has always admired and who has deeply influenced the writing of his own popular novels.
"This hasn't been a very pleasant experience for anyone," Saddam admitted. He added that he looked forward to the trial of George Bush in an international criminal court, and said that he was willing to testify against the American president. Saddam wouldn't speculate on his own political future, but said a return to politics "was a possibility."
At his ranch in Crawford, Texas, surrounded by thousands of anti-war protestors led by Cindy Sheehan, who are supported by millions of other Americans, the beleaguered Bush declined to comment on the release of Saddam Hussein and on his own indictment as a war criminal.
But White House spokesman Scott McClellan issued a statement that the Administration believed "It is never a crime to go to war for oil."