Written by mikewadestr
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Friday, 14 January 2011

Dead Afghan suicide terrorist, Oh No Mohammed, was disappointed to find out that his seventy two virgins reward for dying for Allah were all refurbished with non-human parts. Needless to say, he is really, really pissed.

"I cannot believe this!" exclaimed a very angry Oh No. "Just look at all the virgins' fuzzies. It is so obvious that they all have been replaced. I mean, look at this one, here. That is a fuzzy of a beaver and worse yet, it appears that her two front teeth were, also, replaced with the beaver's front teeth. She keeps jabbing her teeth into my lip every time I try to kiss her. My lip is bleeding like hell. At least she is good at cutting wood".

"What makes everything so much worse", continued Oh No. "Is that Allah replaced them with smaller fuzzies from smaller animals to fool me into thinking that the fuzzy was never used. Man, Allah must think that I blew myself up yesterday. I can tell that these smaller fuzzies have been used. They weren't even taken from virgin animals. And look here at these virgins over here, these fuzzies all look like they were taken from squirrels. How am I supposed to boink them? What an insult to my manhood"

When asked about Oh No Mohammed's complaint, Allah told us: "Man, give me a break will you. Where the hell is anybody going to find 72 virgins anyway, especially in Afghanistan. I would have a better chance of finding 72 honest U.S. Senators and you know that, that aint ever going to happen. Oh No has got to be realistic about this whole thing. He has to learn to go with the flow".

When asked why he used such small replacement parts, Allah responded: "Oh No has got to realize that, as a suicide bomber, he lives in the afterlife with whatever parts we can put him back together with. We found everything but his Johnson and the only Johnson available at the time was that of a squirrel. So honestly, does it really matter?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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