Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 12 January 2011

image for Upside of Australian floods is wipeout of horrible predators
Destruction of native predators is welcome

Brisbane - (Biblical Proportions): Millions of deadly brown snakes, tiger snakes, red back spiders, funnel web spiders, box and Irukandji jellyfish have been destroyed in the recent deluge.

The predators are often cited as one of the biggest turn-offs to visiting Australia, along with Kylie Minogue and Nicole Kidman - er... native crocodiles, blue ring octopus, stone fish and cane toads!

The mass destruction of these native menaces has being hailed around the world as travellers' exorbitant medical insurance premiums are set to come crashing down.

Yesterday thousands of assorted dead snakes were found in a flooded Downtown Brisbane shopping mall, coiled 'like giant spaghetti' around a pile of broken supermarket trolleys.

At Bundaberg swarms of jellyfish corpses have been swept ashore, their slimy shredded tentacles covering beaches like a glistening toxic soup.

Conservationists have called the wipeout an environmental disaster of a magnitude comparable to BP's Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

But secretly many Australians are not complaining about the flood's collateral damage following centuries of battling with native beasties.

"This is nature's way of changing the odds in favor of humans," Rockhampton resident Mrs Iris Toombs told reporters today.

"Shame about the wallabies, though."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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