Written by Mikethelad
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Tuesday, 11 January 2011

In Pyong Yang, North Korea today the first pictures were released of the results from the Kim Jung Il cloning project. Twenty years ago, geneticists took cells from Kim's (a.k.a. Dear Leader) foreskin which contained undifferentiated peripheral stem cells and grew them in a laboratory.

As the embryo's developed into 16-cell structures they were implanted into all 45 of the Miss North Korea 1990 beauty pageant contestants uterus's in a mass surgical procedure. The process has been repeated every year since and it is a condition of entry to the competition. The process was only stopped recently when Kim's donation site became too small for future cell collection.

According to North Korea's Pyong Yong Dong, daily newspaper, the clones have inherited Kim's good looks and sense of humour.

At the recent graduation ceremony (pictured), all the clones passed with top marks from flight school and were instantly promoted to the position of General.

Some of the clones will be leaving to take diplomatic roles at North Korea's embassies around the World, where the motto is "a Kim in every Country". Others have volunteered to donate parts of their bodies to Kim Jung Il in gratitude for his role as "father" to the nation. So far Kim has received 12 kidneys, 10 lung lobes, 18 eyes, 5 partial livers, 1 testicle and a pancreas. These are being kept in storage for him in a cryogenic facility at a secret location.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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