Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Thailand

Wednesday, 9 October 2013

image for English Teacher Sits Through Entire 3-Hour Lesson Without Teaching So Much As A Single Thing!
Abroad? board? bored?

An Englishman masquerading as a teacher in the Pinklao district of the T**i capital of B******k, surpassed his already-low standards at the weekend, when, conducting a class full of stroppy, hormonal and poor-attitude-laden 15-year-olds, he waded through his entire 3-hour lesson without teaching a single thing.

Moys Kenwood, 47, opened the session by attempting to review Units 4-6 of the Students' Book in preparation for a test later in the lesson, but was met with such a level of indifference, blank stares, and lack of participation, that he decided, instead, to administer the test without revision, and to let the sad bastards struggle on with the questions themselves.

The students at the unnamed 'educational establishment' were so unresponsive, that Kenwood actually thought that several of them were dead, and called for help from Reception, whereupon it was discovered that NONE were dead, but ALL were deadheads, and three admitted under scrutiny to being dead bored.

The class has a history of being 'rather moody', but Kenwood was surprised at their collective resolve not to take part in the lesson. He said:

"It appeared that they had conspired to attempt to drive me round the bend with a wall of silence, but they needn't have bothered - I'm already round the bend!"

He went on:

"They often use their mobiles whilst we are supposed to be learning, but that's what spoilt brats in T******d tend to do. They have no respect for foreigners, and generally do whatever they want. Bollox to them. As long as they keep paying me, I'm good."

Police are not investigating.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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