An Englishman working as a teacher in the Thai capital of Bangkok, was left with egg on his face and shit on his shoe today, after he stepped on a dog turd.
The man, Moys Kenwood, was walking around a market in the city when he spied the offending 'dog egg' all too late, and in his attempt to avoid it, twisted his ankle as he fell, and some of the egg ended up on his face.
"Flipping dogs! I was just striding along when I felt my right foot slide on something, and before you could say "shitonmyshoe", there was shit on my shoe."
He added apologetically:
"I had to write and submit this piece of trash because I noticed that I had slipped out of the Spoof's rankings, and by simply writing and submitting a new 'piece of work', my name would magically reappear in the aforementioned rankings."
The turd was later removed from his shoe using a neighbour's toothbrush.