Written by Nae mair crap
Print this
Topics: Murder, Earth, Birds

Sunday, 9 January 2011

image for Misplaced Magnetic North Murdered Migrating Masses
this isnae the Scottish Highlands whit's wrang noo?

Meteorologists and Air Traffic Controllers (ATC) in Tampa, Miami, USA believe that they may have solved the mystery of the untimely demise of flocks of birds.

Flight crew on board several aircraft preparing to land on runway 36 at Tampa Airport had radioed ATC in confusion as the runway was not where it should have been. ATC at Tampa were bewildered as the runway was, of course, exactly where it always had been.

BA Captain, Geoffrey Cousins informed ATC that runway 36 was not bloody there. He questioned ATC further and stressed his predicament so was told to land by eye and ignore his directional instruments. The flight landed safely. According to Captain Cousins, that damned runway has moved, no doubt about it.

ATC at Tampa ran a full system check and found that all was as it should be with ground directional instruments. However, it turns out runway 36 has moved. Captain Cousins was correct.

Meteorologists, confused, at the time by reports of mass bird suicide reports from other parts of the US investigated further.

They found out that magnetic north has shifted by 10 degrees! No kidding, the earth moved of it's own accord. Rather the molten iron core of the earth has thrown a wobbly and altered magnetic north.

Apparently, this happens every so often and even interferes with the unknown compass possessed by every bird. Hence the connection: the birds got confused, began drifting and turning to find direction and murdered each other as they panicked.

Runway 3-6 Tampa is renamed runway 1 Fort Lauderdale, Arctic Circle, Norway.

Perhaps this means that Alaska will end up where Australia is and Sarah Palin will drown as the glaciers melt.

Make Nae mair crap's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 4?

2 16 21 22
56 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more