In an astonishing development after our initial breaking of the news yesterday concerning the toxic Dioxin laden eggs in Germany, a further 3000 farms are now closed and more implications for human health have been outlined.
Herr Loss of the the Schlosswig-Holstein health department has asked all vegan's to register with the government today to take over essential jobs in the event the poisoning spreads. Vegetarians have been put on standby in case there are insufficient vegans to run the state's nuclear power plants, prisons and maternity units.
Herr Loss warned German's to be vigilant for the first signs of egg-bourne Dioxin poisoning which are memory loss and skin rashes. He warned anyone who had a rash and didn't know what to do, not be alarmed as they would soon forget what was happening. Anyone who has a skin rash and is concerned should not worry as they did not have severe enough memory loss to concern themselves. When they have forgotten why they were worried they should re-read the advice letter sent by the Health Department which they probably have misplaced somewhere in their house.