Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 6 January 2011

image for Happy Russian Christmas as Santa stuffs Anna Chapman stocking
Anya Kushchenko, the cat that got the cream...

Bloodyvostock - (Na Zdrawie): Friday's Russian Orthodox Christmas started early last week... with the appearance on the Let Them Talk TV show of 'two red pussies' - one of which wasn't a lion cub.

"Da...and the other wasn't Anya Kushchenko!" show compere Ivan Inormusswan told the bemused audience.

Seven days on and the flame-haired ex-KGB spookette has hung up one of her black latex Agent Provocateur stockings above the fireplace, ready for Santa Claus to stuff.

"Of course, I don't know his size," Ms K tweeted briefly, "but if he's a typical Russian it will be a whopper."

The ancient custom goes back to terrible days of national repression when men were not allowed to pleasure themselves with women's lingerie.

Except on Christmas Eve, of course, when the ludicrous idea that Father Christmas likes a forage inside some sexy hosiery first popped up out of the blue.

For 28 year-old Anna there's a chance that this year she'll get a recording contract, her very own tv show, the chance to design a sexy clothing range and a wacking great big $$$s bonus from the Moscow bank that already pays her a six figure annual salary.

Naturally, she'll have to first pleasure Comrade Claus.

But after an exhaustive earlier debriefing from Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin himself Santa's bound...to be a doddle.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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