Written by icybluepen
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Topics: Religion, Armageddon

Monday, 3 January 2011

image for It's The End of the World, again
Sect follower waits for the end

Eighty nine year old Howie "Let's Go" Camping, a Christian with his own radio show said today the world is coming to an end.

It's the rapture, when all the right thinking people go to heaven and Jesus comes back to earth to kick a little sinner ass until the world ends a couple of months later.

Howie says the bible functions like a cosmic calender and he has picked the end as May 21st 2011, well ahead of the Mayans who used an actual calender to predict the end in 2012.

"Take that you jungle dwelling, long dead, silly people." said Camping

It seems however that Baptists had already predicted the end time to be on October 24th 1844. Almost nothing happened on that day.

The next day those Baptists called the previous day "The Great Disappointment" and stopped being baptists and started another Christian sect whose main rule is to not own clocks or calenders.

This was followed by a more secretive sect that meet in basements and root cellars were they watch TV and point and laugh at non-believers. In secret. They predict the end of the world will happen during a commercial break.

Buddhists had no comment about the prediction. China countered aggressively that the world would not end because they had just built the biggest dam in the world and would soon conquer Mars.

The Pope laughed so hard that wine shot out of his nose.

The President of the United States said if it does occur he doesn't think he can bail it out and House and Senate republicans want to know how much it will cost.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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