Written by Neil Levine
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Topics: Paris Hilton, France

Monday, 15 August 2005

image for Rick Hilton Showcases Elvis Presley Room At Paris Hilton
A Room Fit For A King

Paris, France---Rick Hilton, father to the vivacious Paris and Nicky, and better half to Kathy and behind the scenes business advisor and show biz guru to Nicole, has decided he wants to speak up for Hilton Hotels, as a way of increasing brand recognition, visitor traffic plus as a slick way to hype the family shows, "My Wife Is A Hilton" and "Paris Hilton Is A World Class Hotel" and, most importantly, "Hiltons Are Not Just For Hiltons."


"Hi, there, I'm Ricky Hilton," he has introduced himself. "You may think you know me but don't be so sure because unless you are part of the Hilton life we've never met. That can easily be corrected but can you really afford to live like you're rich and famous like me."


"Remember, I've got a fantastic wife, three fantastic model daughters, a big family and can afford to pay a lot of big Bills."


"So why am I giving you a piece of my mind?"


"Well, I'm looking for paying guests. Not just anybody, but highly seasoned, well traveled, repeat visitors who know the value of a good room and a hot meal at the end of a boring day. This could be you. Just call the Hilton reservation number at your friendly local Hilton Hotel and check in. No luggage required. No questions asked."


"Have you ever been to London and Paris and had no place to go? Well, think about checking in to a Hilton Hotel and enjoying the night. Hilton Hotels feature clean sheets, four walls and hot tubs, not to mention everything you can see outside the Windexed windows."


"To put you at your ease and in case you were worried, let me tell you something too much about myself. I was born a Hilton, have always lived like a Hilton and intend to die in a friendly neighborhood Hilton Embassy Suite. Don't let any fool tell you differently. Hiltons are nice places to visit and you, too, can live there in rock and roll splendor."


"Believe it or not, I was once a kid like you but had to grow up fast but want to assure you that any child can place hide and seek in the stairwells and empty corridors, just so long as they don't get caught."


"The Plaza has Eloise and Hilton has Paris, London and Elvis. I do hope you have a good time. But if you don't, don't forget to turn on the lights."


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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