Written by danimal
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Friday, 31 December 2010

image for 18 people injured after North Korean snowball attack
a 2nd grader retreats as his village is pounded by 4th grade n. koreans

North Korea escalated tensions on the peninsula to a dangerous level tuesday, hitting Yeonpyeong Island yet again, this time with a brutal barrage of hard-packed snowballs.

Footage from the area showed people in the streets, battered by the assault, limping for safety.

Yow Ping was one of the residents hit by the blast.

'I heard the snowballs hitting all around me, I tried to put my hood on, but it was too late, it went right down my collar!'

Many fled for safety indoors as the snowballs continued for 20 minutes.

The government controlled North Korean News Agency showed videos of the responsible children praising 'The brave and noble 4th grade infantry unit, that dealt a great blow to the capitalist pigs!'

South Korean officials confirmed that the snowballs were thrown by a unit of 4th graders from a hillside that overlooks the island.

'They are well trained from a young age. They pack the snowballs tightly until they are almost like ice.' said Min Vin Pin, an expert on North Korean military practices.

Victims of the attack were treated for frostbite, chapped lips and other snow-related injuries.

North Korean press statements insisted that the attack was provoked, after the South Korean military threw water balloons toward the DMZ in a joint miltary exercise with the U.S. Navy.

'We will not tolerate the irresponsible actions of these criminals!' a top N. Korean official said. 'We are prepared to unleash a furious attack like the world has never seen! Let them be reminded that we too have water balloons!'

He added that they are ready to use their stockpiles of M-80s, supersoakers, toilet paper, and other Soviet weapons left over from the Cold War.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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