A sneak peak at the Spoof's almanac for 2011 predicts the effects of waning readership tastes regarding female genitalia, but rising interest in male enhancement techniques
as the world's population of heterosexuals continues to decline.
Citing shocking scientific studies from India, home of UN Climate Control guru Rajendra Pachauri, who also writes romantic novels regarding a train conductor who punches more than his passengers tickets, and who also says the days of the classic vagina stories are over and readers are 'moving on.'
"The climate continues to be in flux," he said, "as we move into 2011 a successful exotic romance writer has to shift his focus and concentrate more on bizarre sexual relationships and fetishes in order to climb up the readers' poles (sic)."
Pachauri, referring to his copious notes, points out the recent interest in Elton John's pregnancy and cesarean birth experience, NY Jet's football coach Rex Ryan's alleged participation in a foot fetish site with his wife, a former male who joined the Ladies Professional Golf Association after having his putter re grooved turning it into a 54 degree wedge, and the perverse world wide interest in Lady Ga Ga extending even into US Senate Chambers where Speaker Harry Reid was lauded by the diva for his stance on "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
"Very few people are going to be interested in vagina stories as we move forward, " continued Rajendra, "oh, they'll be the usual brief hits when the occasional one is snapped by a roving rogue camera man who hasn't gotten the word, but it just won't have the impact it used to . Seen one, seen them all is going to be the public's attitude."
And what about today's top writers?
"Well," said the prognosticator, "those that can adapt will continue to stay on top of the
pile, but it won't be easy. There'll be a whole new bunch of writers with first hand experience in transgender relationships, Oprah will continue to marginalize heterosexual relationships on her new media Channel "GAY TV", and of course the human gay rights movement will really gain momentum after the EU outlaws opposite sex marriages or unions."
When asked what his next hot best seller was going to be, Rajendra paused, and then said, " Well, I don't want to give too much away, let's just say it's about the rise to political power of a closet homosexual caught up in a bizarre political assassination involving a red head, a suitcase, the Mossad, and an Afghan Pedophile ring that threatens the stability of the Free World!"