Where would the world be without those dating sites that promise perfect matches? Just ask Hari Twolingas who so far has led a lonely life because of his unique affliction - he was born with 2 penises.
"People in my village worshiped me as a god", said Hari, "but all I ever wanted was a good woman who could accommodate me. Unfortunately whenever I unfurled my dhoti they took one look at my two-headed monster and fled for the hills. Sadly leaving me to resort to my usual two-fisted double-header"
Desperate for love Hari says he prayed to gods of all shapes and sizes. Somebody must have been listening because he happened to come across a uniquely Indian dating site offering a 210% guarantee on astrologically favorable most unusual sexual conjoinings.
He signed on and in no time found his soul-mate - 20 year-old Kumari Charyoni, a virgin [aptly named for her own unique attributes]. Hari said:
"On most sites you send your head shot but we sent each other photos of our parts and fell in love as we were perfectly suited".
A 12-fingered temple priest is to perform the televised wedding ceremony; later web-toed scientists from the Indian Institute of Copulation will observe the nuptial coupling.
India's Minister for Exploding Population and Other Sexual Incongruities, Sooresh Shitty told reporters:
"India is proud to showcase our copulation skills and techniques. This lucky couple will now qualify for a govt-subsidized 50 sq. ft. slum. Jai Ho"