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Monday, 15 September 2003

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OAPs - They Don't Like Solid Foods

Old Aged Pensioners from across the United Kingdom have united and attacked Tony Blair's house at 10 Downing Street, London.

Old people up and down the country have ditched mushy pea soup and 'Richard & Judy' to make their anger and outrage shown.

The rampaging geriatrics - who began at 8:00AM at the start of Downing Street and actually only reached Number 10 at Noon - were no match for the police officers and bodyguards.

This vicious act of violence is to retaliate from Blair's apparent statement saying "I hate old people. They all smell funny and don't wash often enough. And don't get me started on their Kleenex box shoes."

Although Tony Blair denied saying such things, the OAPs were being their skewed, cynical selves and have chosen not to trust anybody who can still eat solids.

One insane oldie, Perigrin Montgomery Pennysmith, 80, said "We're sick of being ster....stereot.....ahh you know, that word meaning old-fashioned," he said before flooring a Labour backbencher with a terrifying ear-grab and talk-down. "That crazy young laddie's gonna get a good spanking when I get my hands on him..."

Scotland Yard have said to have drafted in top law enforcement officers to battle the OAPs, but nothing seems to stop them - not even cries of 'MEDICINE TIME!!!'....

Tony has allegedly been put into hiding by his associates. Although his whereabouts are unknown, he's no doubt weeping his poor little Prime Minister eyes out at the damage being delivered to his beloved home.

Watch this space.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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