Scotland Edinburgh; In what at the time was the best kept secret next to the true origins of 'her' Harry Potter story, J.K.Rowling's giving birth to a baby boy was almost relegated to a non-event by the British media for reasons that continue to baffle. Rowling's publicist Ms. Nicky Stonehill was adamant in refusing to answer press questions about the delivery. No pictures reached the tabloids and no footage of the triumphant mum were broadcast.
Now, at last, those who were there have come forward to tell us about the great event. In a rare moment of self-forgetfulness Rowling is reported: "I tried for a boy for so, so, so long," she sobbed before a select group of friends, family and business associates who had been invited to her ward at the hospital. "Now, at last people will believe that I know all about male child psychology. This is the happiest moment of my life. I am not going to call him "Harry" as you probably thought. I am calling him "David"."
Joanne, of course, missed not having a brother on whom she could have declared to the world to have based her Harry Potter books and had been trying for years to bring forth the required model but managed only two daughters. Her agent Christopher Little was not available for comment at the time."Mind your own business!" he blurted to a reporter as he hailed a taxi for Heathrow airport.
He was believed to have flown to Geneva with his partner and lawyer Neil Blair to attend a private conference there. The conference, behind locked doors, was chaired by media tycoon Rupert Murdoch on the subject of how new technology could be harnessed to controlling the planetary mind. This was in preparation for the release of Murdoch's first Virtual Reality Newspaper, a project he had been working on for some time with Richard Branson, Gary Glitter, the CIA, and his very close friend Beelzebub. "Now we will soon be in a position to control people's minds directly and irrevocably instead of the old subliminal suggestion crap we have been using for years," the media mogul announced proudly.
The Chinese government, US Republicans, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Oprah Winfrey, Paris Hilton and Pope Benedict have all since shown a keen interest in what Mr. Murdoch described as a "great leap forward for Mankind and a major boost for our sinking shares". The first Virtual Reality Newspaper called "The Daily Mirage" will be launched early in 2011 in London. To experience it you will need a special virtual reality helmet called a"PotterViewer". These at present will be available only from various subsidiaries of "Murdoch Enterprises". They will not be cheap.