London, England-- The wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton on April 29 promises to be a White Wedding. Sadly, no one from any other race has been invited to attend. Even President Obama hasn't been invited, because he's black. The young prince's grandfather, Prince Phillip, is in charge of the guest list, and he doesn't want any blacks.
"No darkies allowed!" stated Prince Phillip proudly. "Why would we have them?? They can't comprehend our civilization. The loathsome beasts would probably eat us!" he said with disgust.
Prince Phillip has even made sure that no Scottish or Irish people will be there either.
"They're all drunks, who needs the scum! The Irish would all start crying and vomiting on the cheap ale they drink. Filthy animals!"
Prince Phillip also had some hateful comments about gay men attending the royal affair.
"We went through all that gay crap at Diana's funeral! No more! Yes, we are having some fag design the wedding dress, of course. That's all fags are good for." he stated. "And I am not having a bunch of fairies at my grandson's wedding staring at his bum!" he bellowed.
Unfortunately, neither Prince William or Kate Middleton can do anything about the guest list.
"I'm paying for the wedding with my hard earned money! If that brat wants to sit on the throne one day, he better do what I tell him!" he shouted.