Written by Lady Godiva
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Monday, 13 December 2010

image for Susan Boyle kindnapped by HAMAS
Member of HAMAS calling 'leader' to find out what the next move is now they have Susan Boyle

"HAMAS activists, especially those in the Izz al-Din al-Qassam Brigades, have conducted many attacks-including large-scale suicide bombings-against Israeli civilian and military targets.

In the early 1990s, they also targeted suspected Palestinian collaborators and Fatah rivals. HAMAS increased its operational activity during 2002-2003 claiming numerous attacks against Israeli interests.

The group has not targeted US interests-although some US citizens have been killed in HAMAS operations-and continues to confine its attacks to Israelis inside Israel and the territories."

Hamas activists, in desperation, have kidnapped Susan Boyle in a last ditched attempt to realize their dream.

A spokesman for Hamas has stated that they will not harm a hair on Susan's head or eyebrows if their demands are met. They reassure us that Subo is being well respected and is in no danger if their demands are met.

When asked what their demands actually are, their spokesman said,

"It all happened so quickly. Susan Boyle was in America as a guest on The View. We know she is famous world wide so one of our agents, who has been working 'undercover' as a camera-man on the set of The View, waiting for a World Renowned celebrity to appear - recognized Susan and put 'operation celebrity kidnapping' into gear."

He, and his colleagues pretended to be Subo fans and surrounded her backstage. They threw a quilt over her head (the quilt she always travels with which was hand-made for her by many of her fans) and they pushed her into a white 'unmarked' SUV.

The activists believe they have the 'ultimate weapon' with which to barter. They are in the process of figuring out what to do with Subo and how she fits into their overall agenda.

More as this story unfolds.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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