Vatican City - Exciting new Biblical research suggests that the Three Wise Men brought the Baby Jesus gifts of marijuana and a shiny new bong on the very first Christmas. It now appears that Mary, Joseph, and all the animals in the manger did bong hits, underneath the Star of Bethlehem. Christianity and marijuana have been linked together, right from the very beginning.
The Three Wise Men offered the Baby Jesus the best weed in the entire world. One of the Wise men brought some Turkish hash, another brought some Martian Devil Killer Weed, and the third brought a giant bong. Baby Jesus cooed with delight when he saw the gifts, and gave the Three Wise Men a big smile.
Some exciting new archaeological finds in Jerusalem indicate everyone in the manger smoked the night away in peace and tranquility. Mary and Joseph did dozens of bong hits, until they heard the angels singing. The animals in the manger also gathered around, trying to get a buzz from the second-hand smoke. Even the Baby Jesus took a few hits from the bong--it was His first miracle.
Everyone except the Baby Jesus stumbled out of the manger to gaze in wonder at the Star of Bethlehem. They all went back inside a little later, and munched out on some Christmas cookies and fruitcake.
"Merry Christmas!" whispered the Three Wise Men to the stoned and sleepy Baby Jesus.
"Bong hits 4 Jesus and Happy New Year!" replied the contented Baby Jesus.