London, England - Queen Elizabeth II is cursing her bad luck this morning, after her attack on the Duchess of Cornwall went awry Thursday. The queen was one of dozens of howling protesters that mobbed Charles' and Camilla's limousine. The queen had disguised herself as an angry yob, and led the mob's charge on the royal pair.
"Bloody shite!!" screamed the queen. "I almost had her! Shite!" she yelled. "I thought it would be as easy as setting up Princess Diana in Paris!" she cackled.
The queen was one of the few people that knew that route of the limousine, and she made her plans. She disguised herself as an old bum, and went down to the West End. The queen brought a radio with her to block all security signals. She also brought a sharp, pointy stick, and made her way to the West End. She spotted the limousine right away.
"Off with their heads, off with their heads!" shouted the queen, and directed the angry mob to the limousine. She picked up her pointy stick, and bashed in a window.
Fortunately, security guards arrived on the scene and no one was harmed. The queen slipped away, and returned to the palace.
"Camilla escaped this time, so I'll try once more!" cackled the mad queen. She thought of Princess Diana again, and telephoned her daughter-in-law.
"My dear Camilla, so sorry about your recent misadventures. I know just the thing to relax you, dear. Paris!"