North Pole - Santa will be short-handed going into the last phases of toy build-out this year.
It seems that a hunting party of Inuits shot four of Santa's elves, mistakenly identifying the elves as seals.
Nanook, the head of the hunting party, told our reporter: "it was a little foggy. Snow was blowing in. From the distance, they looked exactly like seals, so we took our shots. Unfortunately, we are
better at shooting than we are at telling little elf-y guys from seals".
Mr. Claus, already under the stress of the upcoming holidays, said : " Hell, I was 5 elves short already. 3 were picked up last week for soliciting prostitution down at the truck stop, another one
out sick with a sore thumb---he hit it with a toy hammer, and one more who got picked up for non-payment of child support.
Losing these last 4 elves to those damned Inuits is really putting some strain on the finalizing of our deliverable inventory. I hope we can pull it off."
Santa will be even more short-handed in the reindeer department. It was published In Spoof News that 3 of his 8 reindeer are currently under house arrest.
When our reporter asked Nanook about expressing remorse over the killings , he replied:
"Yeah, I'm really sorry--Those elves tasted a little game-y. Wish we could have had seal instead."
Claus intends to "go underground and see if there are any illegal aliens around" to fill the employee gap for the season.