Written by jd Balderdash
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Topics: moon, Vanity fair

Saturday, 13 August 2005

image for Study -- They CAN'T put a man on the Moon

Vanity Fair reporter Juanita Sikes, in this Month's Fair told readers, "Everywhere you hear people going ... 'They can put a man on the moon yet they can't make a decent Creme rinse that washes out without frizzing'."

NASA officials today responded with .. "No .. we CAN'T put a man on the moon anymore. You may just have to live with the frizz."

NASA administrator Michael Griffin told reporters,

"We got lucky. Back in the 60's. The moon was 22.7 millimeters CLOSER to us than it is now. Today we can't even safely fly our astronauts from Houston to the Cape without paramedics and black boxes involved. They have to take a Greyhound from Houston to Florida. Not a pleasant trip I hear. Especially with that layover in Shreveport."

Tom Hanks, pretend commander of the pretend Apollo 13 in Opie Taylor's movie, 'Apollo 13' said,

"I'd not attempt to fly to that place just yet these days. I barely lived through the filming of the pretend MOVIE version of the thing for cryin out ... can somebody get me a box of chocolates?".

L 'Oreal, maker of fine overpriced hair care products pointed out that they could indeed make a creme rinse that washed out without frizzing.

"It's still in the beta testing phases", one L 'Oreal spokes-scientist said. He went on to add,

"Just look at Angelina Jolie".

Reporters asked the scientist if the actress used their clinical trial anti-frizz creme rinse to which he replied,

"No, just look at Angelina Jolie". L'Oreal had no further comments, perhaps waiting until NASA again lands anything, a human, a gerbil, an IPOD even on the surface of the moon.

One unnamed NASA engineer told reporters,

"Actually I believe it's EASIER to land a man on the moon than to try and bring a space shuttle safely to earth. "

Sources say that the unnamed NASA engineer was soon later re-assigned to gift shop duty after his candid comments.

Angelina Jolie, vacationing abroad had no comment on her supposed link to
L 'Oreal's new non-frizzing creme rinse other than to say that she and Mr Pitt were

"Just friends". "In a hot tub". "With a baby on the way yet .. just friends". Stocks in NASA tumbled 1.2 points with that revelation. Microsoft held steady.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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